for my almost brother in law

last night I slept

the sleep of the dead

except

I woke

the world is grey

clouds fast scudding

and sun no show

but I’m awake

and Jakeandy isn’t

we are all trying to work       through

the numbness

the darkness

the confusion

the sadness

he left us a cold slice of what he felt

many days

all days

for a long time
and if we thought this feeling would never go

we’d understand him better

but too late

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