Schrödinger’s* wedding planning.

I did say this wasn’t going to turn into a ‘wedding blog’ and it hasn’t….but at kinda three weeks prior to it’s worth my letting you into the secret of how to have a sparkling summer wedding party…..or a slightly soggy chill out in your back garden. Either or both of those are our expected outcome….Schrödinger’s cat stylee I suspect there is nothing that can really be done to bring one or t’other to the fore of likelihood so we are happy for either outcome to happen. Some days we’re sure it’s going to be epic, the band will play, the sun will shine, the gazebos will stay up, people will bring food that really isn’t ALL sausage rolls and the bouncy castle will come ‘and’ fit in the garden and we’ll get through the vows an’ shit in one piece….oh and people will come in droves, distributed fairly evenly throughout the day. Other days…well….other middle of the nights….I wake up thinking…well; there are a million things to fret about. The vast majority of which (stampeding rhino….volcanic eruption….my back (or Al’s) going and being flat out for the day etc) seriously won’t (might not) happen but as I believe it’s traditional to get a bit stressed about a wedding we’re doing our bit to uphold tradition. I can genuinely say we’ve spent more time and effort getting  our steampunk costumes organised for a party this weekend than we’ve given thought to what to wear for our wedding. Though I had to rethink my footwear as Al thought maybe a proper pair of shoes wouldn’t go amiss to get married in (as opposed to the really cool jelly shoes I bought for our holiday later in the summer). Sustinencewise …an online shop for disposable accoutrements, a trip to the wine shop and a trip to the local brewery leaves us just with glass hire and a trip to the supermarket at some point. The humanist celebrant knows she’s coming, the vows are written, some musicians have had a practice and are bringing an amp, there may or may not be some bunting (I’ll find out on Sunday) but we do have lots of balloons and Als mum and stepdad could well be bringing a bouncy castle….but that’s an added bonus that wasn’t initially planned for and no we’re not getting married on it. Oh and we had rings made but need to pick them up from the Brum jewellery quarter. Basically it’s semi organised…I was going to say semi organised chaos…but it’s not…and it’s not barely organised apathy…it’s kind of a mix the two. We have several lists on bits of paper that float around the house and when we find one we look at it long and hard…tick things off or circle things in red…and then usually ‘do’ something. The only things that have had hours of effort into are the garden…but I’d have done that anyway because that’s what you do in a garden in summer, notwithstanding that the rain and wind so far this month has just untidied it all again, and we have both given serious thought to our vows and the readings for the ceremony. I still need to practice as I’m prone to just going all weepy when I try to get though mine. Does this sound like we’ve done nothing…or done a lot? I’ve no idea it just seems to be ‘happening’…. I love the fact that there has been a lack of meetings and appointments: with florists (we have a flowery garden – or did until the bad weather), photographers (we never got round to this and its a bit late now – so we hope people will take informal photos and let us have them), event and venue co-ordinators….well..we’ve sat out in the garden and me and Al stood in the garage and talked about how tidy it could do with being but we still need to think about how best to tidy up the wood/bike shed. In the end, however the day pans out will be fine…because we’re getting married at home, in the garden of our 70’s semi, to each other and most of the people we really care about will be there -and that’s pretty much all that ‘really’ matters. We’ll be doing it  pretty much without the help of the ‘wedding industry’ and importantly for us, we’re not pretending to be anything other than ourselves for the day (which I think is what big formal weddings can become about) –  I think ‘that’ could well be the secret to having a happy (and relatively stress free) wedding. *I’m a bit dodgy on physics but did used to watch the Big Bang Theory…so it’s possible that Al will tell me our wedding plans aren’t anything ‘like’ the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics ….I’m happy with that too.

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